Henny Vanilla [#ColumbinePoetry]

I would sit in a cement, reinforced steel cube

And your face would appear.

I submitted to you

Due to my chivalrous nature.

I had to do right.

I knew I would do wrong.

You are the depth my community would never allow me to reach.

You are the wrong thought of my community's influence.

I cannot justify their behavior.

But you make me want to.

I feel stolen with every upward reach down.

Yet you sit there

In the parking lot

With a drone of our hope.

We shant lie.

We want what we help others earn.

We want to be where we put others.

But once there, we are no longer our own.

The passion given to the appointed

Kept from the deservant.

They tell us we're wrong

To keep us trying.

Deserving not our glory.

How can I satisfy a void we don't know we have?

If we connect, how can we tell the difference?

I try to improve for your love.

You have challenged me beyond normalcy.

Normal thoughts.

we got this, babe.

do I have you?

-Jr.

#onandon

Pushing Sabotage

...would be the greatest vs. mixtape of all time.

...and the least watch Verzuz match.

#onandon

Something said some of you guys are homeless...

The Atari Hotel.

Las Vegas, NV.

If not open already, definitely 2022.

In the meantime, feel free to be nomads in Phoenix, AZ.

Squad up.

Click here.

#onandon

#TheLadiesOfCGi

There are others.

Some closer to me than can be ..."accepted" and/or "acceptable".

I love them just the same.

So lately, I've been sending presentations about my work of the last few years. 

I'm proud of my work, and admittedly, am turning it up a bit.

A few new joints are on in progress.

Tera Patrick's Lavalamp, on hold for now.

Welcome back, Miss Mirror.

Happy belated, Dre3k!

updated:

...it's like that, Shawty!

[much love, and a broken phone]

#onandon

Role call.

If y'all see me as dickriding or whatever, I'll respond like this:

I didn't get accepted to LaGuardia.

I couldn't afford Five Towns.

I don't sightread to be able to get into Berklee, Oberlin or Julliard. 

I do not have many musical friends.

In the same conversation of/as Pete Rock and DJ Premier, you guys are the producers of instrumentals of which are proving grounds for MCs/lyricists/rappers in general.

In the same conversation as/of J Dilla and Ras G, I don't want time to pass you guys by without you getting proper acknowledgement.

The above, an attempt to feel like a voice of influence, with both obvious proof and opposition.

I'm not trying to get "hot" or "re-hot" off y'all.

In fact, the unspoken is why I am as feverish about us being a unit.

A collective.

A gang.

When suicidal thoughts come to mind, it isn't to have someone kill me.

Or to kill myself in another form.

If I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna take my own life.

Me believing I am y'all is not a sleazy pick-up line.

I believe in my ability/abilities.

And each of us, whether indeed me or not, have been GROSSLY used and misused.

In some cases, abused.

Outside of the social message of the damned (what I'm doing with this blog/movement), my own sound and production has been getting negative critical reviews.

Be it by people close to me, critics, fans, StarChasers, or those who follow trends.

In an attempt to restore the boom bap (bebop), I am referring to the modern drumkeepers.

And DJ Jazzy Jeff has been dropping HEAT on his SoundCloud for the last 2 or so years.

If my "Stan-dom" bothers you, I am sorry.

I have no like minds.

Just know I appreciate each of you for your influence on me as an artist, producer and an individual.

Anything other than the above, enjoy Hollywood.

#onandon

#TheColumbineCabinet

Statik Selektah, 0fficial CGi DJ.

DJ Enuff, 0fficial CGi NYS Connect.

Superstar Jay, 0fficial CGi Sirius/XM Plug.

Sway, 0fficial CGi TrustedCritic.

Crooked I, 0fficial CGi Standard Rapper.

Spazzo,  CGi Trusted Performer.

Chloe x Halle, 0fficial CGi Street Team.

Baddie Mae, 0fficial CGi Spokesmodel

Eminem, 0fficial Secretary of Defense.

Dr. Dre, 0fficial Speaker of Housing.

Trent Reznor, 0fficial Director of Agriculture.

Frederick Douglass Academy, The 0fficial TeleHub.

The Carters: The Libertarian Party

💑

The Hamiltons: The Green Party

The Hamilton JoyCry:

"That shit ain't funny, Martha Focker!"

[all eyes on 50 Cent; effective immediately]

#onandon

F-ckin' do-good-ers... lol

Here is the official .mp3 of #VillainovaU.

Rarely... almost NEVER do I drop the .mp3 of a song/single.

But it's in the air. 

The demand is overwhelming and begrudging.

Like Flair getting a title shot.

Click here.

DJs, show 'em watchya got!

#onandon

I hate posers.

Before I begin this post, I just want to be clear:

EBadu makes beats. And they are fire.

Now.

If you're not a Goth, or atheist/agnostic, or purely a Satanist, leave me/us alone.

Part of the reason why I took so long forming Columbine Gang is because I don't want to involve individuals in something they would be obliged to continue.

I more than understand that #myGang is VERY busy and involved with projects they stand to benefit from (outside of me).

I am honored and humbled by any attention I get from them.

But these (not you guys) lil niggas are out there putting shame on #ThePentagram, #TheTongue, #TheStomach and #TheOutlet.

Not just anyone can get down.

With no pressure, I can't wait to hear what you guy have been cooking up.

I also would like to be intimiate with a female.
Warrior mode comes with it's romantic kickback.

Lord KNOWS I just went inSane in Badu's IG DMs.

...

#onandon

Recruiter dreams

Every team has a scout.

The scout goes all out to make the team stronger by finding the best players.

Meet DJH2 aka Halo.

I've been trying to secure him being a part of my movement since day one. 

I met him through Sciryl, but we developed a friendship stronger than the deepest bond.

I've crossed lines.

He's sent shots.

But we are inescapably twin-like.

Most members of #CGi and myself were/are familiar with each other through music.

The unsung hero of us, no question, is Halo.

We had our own collective back in 2007.

The Halo+Hamilton Project.

He was hard to get in contact with on the surface, and I up and got a record deal.

We stayed in touch, but things seemed strained between us.

Nevertheless, that is always my guy.

The B-Side to A-Side Hamilton.

Halo, if you're reading this, TheColumbineGangCollective would LOVE to have you onboard.

Regardless, I plan to drop some CH heat over some #QualityH2Beats.

Love forever, my guyzer.

#UptownDaft

#onandon

Clarity purposes

Act like you know.

Prayer works.

Leave me alone.

I am grateful.
I am thankful.

I am overwhelmed.

Leave me alone.

Please.

I love you guys.

Thank you for being real.

#onandon

Trips to #TheQ

Chaos, control!!!

#onandon

Yo, Green...

The A-Side.

The B-Side.

The MP3.

Tera Patrick's Lavalamp

In progress.

#onandon

Time-In

 (Choir) He came just in the nick of time

             He came just in the nick of time

             My sin sick soul out of control

(Lead) But He came

(Choir) He came just in the nick of time

             (Repeat)

(Lead) I was lost in my sin  (Choir) Lost in my sin

(Lead) No hope within  (Choir) No hope

(Lead) I was on my way out  (Choir) Losing the battle

(Lead) But without a doubt  (Choir) Jesus brought me out

(Lead) Chains held me so tight  (Choir) Held me so tight

(Lead) I was fighting with all  (Choir) All of my might

(Lead) Then, in that dark hour, He sent His healing power

(Lead) He came  (Choir) He came just in the nick of time

(Repeat)

(Lead) I wanna thank ya Lord  (Choir) For loving me

(Lead) And I wanna praise ya Lord  (Choir) For not leaving me

(Lead) For He came to my rescue

(Lead) And I wanna praise ya Lord (Choir) For loving me

(Lead) And I wanna thank ya Lord  (Choir) For not leaving me

(Lead) For you did not leave me, but you stayed right by my side

(Lead) He came  (Choir) He came just in the nick of time

(Lead) I wanna thank ya  (Choir) For loving me

(Lead) And I wanna praise ya  (Choir) For not leaving me

(Lead) But every time I got in trouble you stayed right by my side

(Lead) And I thank ya Lord. You didn't have to love me  (Choir) For loving me

(Lead) But, inspite of everything, you didn't leave me  (Choir) Fro not leaving me

(Lead) And I thank ya for your mercy. I thank you for your grace.

(Lead) I wanna praise ya Lord  (Choir) Wanna praise you Lord

(Lead) I wanna praise ya Lord  (Choir) Wanna praise you Lord

(Lead) For there's no one above you. There's no one, no one like you

(Lead) I wanna thank ya Lord  (Choir) Wanna thank you Lord

(Lead) I wanna thank ya Lord  (Choir) Wanna thank you Lord

(Lead) For you've been everything that I needed. You've been all that I want and I love you

(Lead) Yes, I love ya Lord  (Choir) Yes, I love you Lord

(Lead) I love you Lord  (Choir) Yes, I love you Lord

(Lead) I don't care how many times I messed up. You came and you rescued me

(Lead) You're the King of kings (Choir) You're the King of kings

(Lead) You are the Lord of lords  (Choir) You're the Lord of lords

(Lead) There's no one above you, and there's no one, no one

(Lead) Lord, I love ya  (Choir) Lord, I love you

(Lead) Lord, I love you  (Choir) Lord, I love you

(Lead) Cause ya first loved me. You died on Calvary

(Lead) He came  (Choir) He came just in the nick of time

\

...bless y'all.

[get ready]

#onandon

Submitted for #theapproval [of...]

SEGA has a new old friend.

God, don't let my beautiful, wonderful, amazing anthropomorphic creatures see me as anything other than their biggest fan and greatest supporter.

Jesus, may the cost you paid be enough to restore peace between The Segilians and #TheHamilton.

Devil, you're winning.

Pardon my innocent heart.

(prepares for library visit, later)

#onandon

13 hours.

...

The last few months have been invigorating.

Fresh inspiration, rebellious self-defense...

I feel like Happy Sun(shine).

And I would like to thank each and every one of my gang members for bringing new life into my psychedelic abyss.

Nevertheless...

Much like #TheFallOf4, the signs are luminous.

Getting in touch with the pre-established reality, I don't personally know any of y'all.

In fact, it is music, my/our ability, my love and The Internet that binds us.

Many of you have achieved the goal I always wanted.

Few of you have achieved the status I always needed.

Here I am.

Still the same loser.

I just wanted to keep you from being exploited.

Nevertheless...

Much like #TheFallOf4, if we are not on the same page, there's no sense in reading.

I love you guys.

And/but I'm tired of overextending myself for love.

So, within the next 13 hours, avail yourself to letting me know if you still want me on your released, public domain instrumentals.

Love is love, either way.

I just need clarity.

 

#onandon

#TheLord

Wha...(h)...(H!...) ?

#onandon

Gang shiGang shit.

We must show compassion, in order to be like #TheLord.

#onandon

God with conversation

First of all, DojaDOJ!

Good lookin out, Sweetbit.

And special shouts to Kash Durant and #3nom.

Second, Columbiners, I did a thing. 

A very special, time and resource consuming, energy draining... thing.

We now only live if we want to.

I would like to thank the whole gang for their interventive measures since I was first introduced to each (of you).

Al held me down in Bard.

9th came through when I dropped out of high school.

MF was presented to me from my coven of witches.

Dre3k was my spokesperson in FDA.

Jim Carrey personifies my melancholy.

Korn is the Hamilton battlecry lullaby.

D3xJ has always been the bridge between me and The Moorers.

I am Charles Hamilton.

Also known as The Talented Mr. Hamilton.

Otherwise known as Charles Hamilton the Great!

Mega special shouts to DJ Skee, who has been trying to recover from #Awkward since the first listening session.

Also, the host of my first mainstream radio appearance.

I am forever grateful to Ed Lover, who was my first NY radio appearance.

I was as Harlem, Cam-esque and NYC Public High School as I could be.

BIGbig thank you to Curtis Mayfield/50 Cent/Kev Brown, for the hardnose standard set for a Black musician.

As always, thank you Dr. Dre and Eminem.

Inspirational influence, infinitely.

The new sound is very Dungeon Family.

Shout out to Sleept Brown, George Clinton and Jesus Steven Christ.

Maybe this next chapter will bring me to Atlanta.

I mean, I'm dead back in Cleveland.

Nigga, Thundercats Ho!

God bless my gang.

{im also dealing with an intergalactic breakup and an early midlife crisis}

#onandon